Speaker Stack Commandments by Earl Zinger (!K7167CD)

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In which Rob Gallagher comes down from the mountain a second time with an iPod in either hand, ready to deliver the word according to His Zingerness.

And the word is - well, difficult to say actually. In this second chapter of the Earl's bizarre adventures he sets up his own radio station, goes in search of whoever killed Saturday night, retires, then gets hauled out of retirement by an alien with the promise (or threat) of tickets for Vibes FM's Lover's Rock Reunion, disses "City Suits and Hoxton Trash", brings us his fitness video and delivers the "Best Session Ever" (in which the Earl takes a shower and finds an expensive body wash, then finds his cash, keys and phone already on the table, hears Westwood playing his tune as he goes out, notes "everybody who might be someone someday someplace" in the queue outside, and even the promoter even recognises him and gives him a pass, no-one has bad breath or shouts "direct!" in your year, the djs are so good you even like "that experimental one from Detroit" and "everyone plays a four hour set, even the girl who takes the coats", and you realise that "you can stop going out after this - in fact you'll have to stop going out after this", that "in ten years time everybody in the city will have been there", then someone discovers a new drug "entirely legal, natural, no side effects" and the whole thing goes on till 12 the next day, the next year, for your whole life"...only then to wake up and find it's all been a dream).

And all this is done with a mixture of Playground-esque pfunk, swirling Hammonds (the nod back to Galliano on the lush "Who Killed Saturday Night"), bleeping synths, booty-quaking bass and stuttering drum machines, with a cast of apparently thousands.
Far from being a mere puckish satire on contemporary mores (and sometimes the satire is just too obscure - at least for someone who has spent no more than one evening in Hoxton in the last five years), "Speaker Stack Commandments" is indeed a comic book but like the best jesters there's a serious side. Well, not that serious actually - other than the beats. "Only the Ridiculous Survive", "Just Might Be" and "Heavy Hitter" rock like rocking things that rock hard. "Heavy Hitter" is the real standout, with its zoot-suited horn section blowing hard enough against a jump up two-step rhythm to rival Mr. Scruff's "Get a Move On".

Finally, on "Think they all gone home", the Earl reckons that we "can start clubbing again". If I were you, I wouldn't miss it.